How to Hold a Virtual Wedding
Many wedding couples in DC and Northern Virginia (and all over the world) are turning to virtual wedding ceremonies during the COVID-19 pandemic. If you’re faced with the difficult decision of postponing or cancelling your wedding, you still have the option to harness the power of the internet and hold your wedding virtually! Whether you need to get on your fiancée’s health insurance, or you’ve already inscribed the date in your wedding rings, or you are just determined not to let the pandemic take this from you too - you can still have a ceremony on your wedding day safely. All you need is an internet connection and friends/family who are ready to celebrate from afar.
(Look, I’ve never photographed a virtual wedding, so excuse all the in-person wedding photos here. This is all I’ve got to work with haha.)
Stay healthy and stay home
Even when small gatherings are technically allowed under stay-at-home orders, there are still risks involved right now with bringing even a few people together. Any contact with people outside of your own household could put everyone involved at risk. As news stories break of weddings where multiple guests were infected with COVID-19, many couples are choosing to forgo even a small family gathering in order to keep all of their loved ones safe and healthy.
Virtual weddings are a safer, truly socially-distant option. You can save the in-person celebration with your wedding guests for later when things are back to normal!
How to handle the marriage license
You still need to obtain your marriage license from your local courthouse, which can be a challenge depending on where you live! Every jurisdiction is handling marriage licenses differently during the pandemic - some courts are doing virtual appointments, others are requiring appointments when it used to be walk-in, and still others are completely closed to issuing new marriage licenses. Check your local court’s website or give them a call to see how they are currently handling things, and whether marriage licenses are considered essential!
Are virtual weddings legal?
I wish this was an easy question to answer!
American Marriage Ministries has a very helpful article discussing the legal implications of weddings performed via Skype or other video conferencing tools. Most jurisdictions in the U.S. require the officiant to be physically present in the same location as the couple in order to sign the marriage license. But will exceptions be made during this pandemic? Virtual weddings enter a gray area where it is recommended to seek legal advice to find out how your wedding would be affected. (And though I’m hoping this blog post will provide some helpful information, remember that I can’t give legal advice because I’m a wedding photographer and not a lawyer haha.)
You can call your local courthouse to ask about the virtual wedding policy, but you might get a different answer depending on who you talk to (trust me, I’ve made several phone calls with varying results in the last few days). The clerks at the court are technically not allowed or qualified to give legal advice, so they are not going to be able to give the most accurate answers. And I wasn’t able to find anything official on Virginia or DC court websites regarding the legality of virtually-officiated weddings. So a lawyer who specializes in family law seems to be the best resource if you want the most accurate information.
The DC marriage bureau is allowing couples who have already gotten their marriage license to self-officiate. DC is unique in that they have always allowed self-officiated ceremonies! The officiant is typically something that needs to be designated at the time of your license application, but they are allowing couples to change officiants or self-officiate now due to the pandemic. (Latest updates and marriage bureau contact information can be found on the DC Courts’ Coronavirus Advisories website.)
Many Virginia courts are still issuing marriage licenses right now, but Virginia does not allow self-officiated ceremonies. The marriage license must be signed by a court-approved officiant. If you are getting married in Virginia, you can obtain the license from any county court, it does not have to be the county where you reside.
So what are your options?
If you’ve already got a DC marriage license - easy. Self-officiate. You can have a formal officiant present virtually to guide the ceremony and say all the nice words, but officially, it is you and your future spouse who are officiating and signing the marriage license.
In Virginia - Could you mail your marriage license to your officiant beforehand, have them sign it after officiating your virtual ceremony, then send it to the court without any issues? Possibly.
Is it kind of sketchy because of the questionable legality of virtual weddings? Yep.
Is there a chance a judge could rule your marriage invalid after the fact? Yep. I would hope that the courts wouldn’t penalize any couples trying to stay safe during the coronavirus pandemic, but there’s no way to know that for sure.
3. Another option is to briefly meet up with your officiant, solely for the in-person signing of the license. You can set the paper down and step back to keep your 6 foot radius while the officiant signs it. Ideally no one is leaving their homes for non-essential reasons, but this option is safer than gathering your friends and family too.
4. You can also choose to have a virtual ceremony on your wedding date even if you aren’t able to make it official on your marriage license. You can still celebrate the day of, and still celebrate that anniversary every year - you don’t need a piece of paper to celebrate your love and commitment to each other!
Keep checking your court’s website or calling to get updates on their current marriage license policies. It’s possible that changes will be made, and more official guidance may be coming from the courts regarding the legality of virtual ceremonies (Remember that this blog post might not have the most up-to-date information. If you see something different or updated from what I’ve shared here, please feel free to email me and let me know!)
Find a Northern Virginia or DC officiant offering virtual weddings
Here are a few local officiants who are currently offering marriage license signing services and virtual wedding ceremonies, and helping clients navigate the whole process. All of them offer interfaith or secular ceremonies and believe that love is love ❤️️
Reverend Mary Stone
RevMaryStone@gmail.com
Reverend Kiana at Ceremony Officiants
kiana@ceremonyofficiants.com
Reverend Kate Adamson (Virginia weddings only, beginning in May 2020)
bodyofknowledge@gmail.com
Decide which streaming/video chat service to use
This is definitely something you want to test out ahead of time! Make sure your friends and family members that will be participating download the software and try it out a few days beforehand. That way you don’t run into technical difficulties on the big day. All of these programs can be downloaded on a computer or a phone, whichever your wedding guests prefer. Here are a few options of free software to host your virtual wedding:
Skype
Skype is the original video chatting tool, and it allows up to 50 users on a video call.
Google Hangouts
The classic version of Google Hangouts lets you include up to 25 participants, and does not have a time limit. Google is also currently offering free access to the more advanced Hangouts Meet during this time, which can host up to 250 participants. The only catch is you need to have a G Suite business account. So if you or one of your wedding guests already has a G Suite account - perfect! Otherwise, you can also sign up for a 14-day free trial of G Suite.
Zoom
Zoom meetings can host up to 100 participants. The free version of Zoom does time-out after 40 minutes, so just make sure to keep your ceremony within that time frame. Zoom has gained popularity during the pandemic but it also has some potential security risks, so be sure to search the latest news articles to see if those get resolved.
Get fancy
Yep, you’re all in your living rooms. But that’s ok! Put on your wedding attire anyways, and encourage your guests to do the same. Add some decor to the wall behind you, pour some champagne, give toasts, and have your first dance song queued up on Spotify. It’s a video chat but it’s still a party!
Remember what your wedding day is all about
It’s ok to be sad/upset/disappointed that your wedding day isn’t going as planned. But you are still going to marry the love of your life, and they will be by your side through all of this! Your wedding is about LOVE, and you are showing all of the people you love how important they are to you. You are ultimately doing the right thing - having everyone stay at home is protecting the health of your wedding guests, and in turn, all of their families too.
And when it comes time to throw the in-real-life celebration, your guests are going to be so excited and ready to party with you! The day will be even more memorable for everyone involved. Plus your dance floor is going to absolutely PACKED with people finally able to get out of their houses and celebrate! Stay positive, focus on the marriage you and your future spouse will share, and remember that there will be plenty of time for a bigger wedding later ❤️️❤️️❤️️
